Intentional Moments

It’s Saturday, and I all of a sudden found myself with two hours of uninterrupted free time as the entire family was out. Alone time is exactly what I have been needing, as well as lacking; but I found myself overwhelmed with the options of what to do with this time; as well as some resistance to being alone. Sometimes the best thing to do is stop and take a breath. Stop and take a breath… I need to do this more.

My mind started racing through the following options of what I could do:

  • Nothing (just sit in a chair and stare)
  • Purposeful nothingness, which sounds like something (meditation and/or prayer)
  • Tasks that need to be done
  • Tasks that could be done
  • Hobbies I enjoy (Reading, playing guitar, running, writing)
  • Friends I could call (which would no longer be alone time)
  • Zone out on tv (I managed to dodge this one)

As I felt my brain on the verge of shorting out, I decided to stop, take a breath, and knock out one task that needed to be done soon because I tend to be task driven; and I have a hard time slowing down some times. I took on the easiest smallest task on my mind, and that bought me just enough time to begin entering into this space of aloneness, or rather, potential solitude.

I finished the task, then took a breath, then stared out the window for a minute. Next I decided to do something I always enjoy, which was write. It is nice, it is calming, and I feel satisfied that I am still doing something productive; at least in my mind. That is literally happening…right now. I am writing this as it’s happening.

I’m reminded of that scene from the Mel Brook’s movie Spaceballs, when they are watching Spaceballs the movie during the movie and they stop the tape at the exact moment of the movie that they are in. Check out the link on You Tube here: Spaceballs Clip

I hope you are laughing at that clip as much as I am, and if not, I must be getting old.

These moments of aloneness can be quickly turned into moments of solitude if we are intentional. I have written about this idea of solitude before, inspired from the book Reaching Out, by Henri Nouwen. There is so much benefit to our development, creativity, minds, hearts, and lives around us if we learn to stop, breathe, and be in the moments of solitude.

The above list that my mind raced through are all beneficial depending on where you are and what you need. We are all wired different, and perhaps zoning out to The Office or staring out the window is exactly what we need sometimes. These moments of alone time are few and far between for some of us, so we must be ready for them, tuned in to what our souls need to stay on track to be our best self.

I fully intend to maintain intentionality with my next 30 minutes, and that may include some guitar and some prayer, but whatever it is; I am thankful to have it today.

Solitude

Loneliness.

This is a powerful word, because out sparks such strong emotional reaction; and I believe that it is something that all of us can relate to at some point in our lives. If being alone becomes translated as loneliness, then sadness and desperation will begin to take root. Desperation mode is survival mode, and we will find ourselves  reacting to our circumstances instead of creating our circumstances.

Time.

Time gives and takes, it builds and breaks down, and it can be a gift if we choose to see it as so.

I start with these words, loneliness and time, because they are in relation to each other. We all have the same amount of hours in a day, though not the same amount of hours in a life; and we all want to make the most of our life. The feeling of loneliness can cause us to enter a place of circular thinking, which in my case, leads to feeling of self-doubt and regret. This is a downward spiral that I have found can rip the hours and the days, which are a gift, away from us.

Now even the darkest of nights lead to a new dawn, and time is reflected best in the form of a new day; though one day may feel lost, a new day is given.

The best book I’ve read this year is Reaching Out  by Henri Nouwen.

The theme of this book is rooted in a transformation from loneliness to solitude, and that is what we will focus on. Just as time is a gift, our being alone is truly a gift, because it is in those moments that we can dig deep to discover who we truly are and what passions lie inside of us. A simple word swap can change everything, so we translate loneliness  to solitude.

The best thing I can recommend is to go out and get this book, but for the purpose of our time right now; I will share some highlights to inspire you to join me on the path of finding solitude in what has been described as loneliness, starting with probably my favorite excerpt from the book:

“When loneliness is haunting me  with it’s possibility of being a threshold instead of a dead end, a new creation instead of a grave, a meeting place instead of an abyss, then time loses it’s desperate clutch on me. Then I no longer have to live in a frenzy of activity, overwhelmed and afraid for the missed opportunity.”

“The more we come to the painful confession of our loneliness, hostilities, and illusions, the more we are able to see solitude, hospitality, and prayer as part of the vision of our life.”

“Does not all creativity ask for a certain encounter with our loneliness, and does not the fear of this encounter severely limit our possible self expression?”

“Friendship and love cannot develop in the form of  an anxious clinging to each other. They ask for gentle fearless space in which we can move to and from each other.”

“Instead of running away from our loneliness and trying to forget or deny it, we have to protect it and turn it into a fruitful solitude.”

“Then our life would indeed be a different life because then fate becomes opportunity, wounds a warning and paralysis an invitation to search for deeper sources of vitality. Then we can look for hope in the middle of crying cities, burning hospitals, and desperate parents and children. Then we can cast off the temptation of despair and speak about the fertile tree while witnessing the dying of the seed. Then indeed we can break out of the prison of an anonymous series of events and listen to the God of history who speaks to us in the center our solitude and respond to his ever new call for conversion.”

I hope these words have brought hope and healing, if not for you, then for someone close to you. Let us make the most of the time we have been given, this beautiful gift that lies in each day; and may the moments that we find ourselves feeling alone be transformed into moments of solitude.