Last Words

It was a cold winter morning, and the stars were making their final plea to be seen. Dawn soon would come and the sun would chase away the brilliance of the stars. In that moment, I felt inspired. These lights will shine until the sunlight spreads the expanse of the sky, and in that, there is a beautiful lesson to be learned: We must shine as bright as we can until light begins to take over. 

In a previous post, I wrote about the first words we speak each day; and the impact those words can have on the trajectory of our thought process, as well as the thought processes of those we speak to. The comparison was made to the sun rising each day with a continual promise of hope. In this post, I would like to take that same look into the last words we speak in a day.

We can enter the day well, yet find ourselves feeling worse by the night. Likewise, we can greet the day with discontent, yet find our minds moved toward contentment by the day’s end. The same goes for the words we speak. The last words will remain after we have left or moved on. They will ruminate, be evaluated, and after they have settled in; we may not be available for a response.

I would like t share what I’ve been learning about this idea of last words from my experiences at home, in texting, and in the workplace.

At home. I think about the words I speak to my wife and kids before we go to sleep; I wish them a good night sleep or sweet dreams, and these words serve as a final send off as they drift away into dreamland. The hope is that in saying these words, they will somehow sleep easier and feel a sense of peace. Sometimes, these words are spoken to bring peace to myself, because I may have not brought my best self to my family that day, but I hope that those last words can still redeem.

I drop my daughter off at the bus stop every morning before I head to work. Sometimes there are not many words spoken because it is very early and we are still settling into the day. Most of the time, those last words before she leaves closes the door are “I love you”, “I’m proud of you”, or “have a good day”. But once in a while, whether it is exhaustion or just plain old grumpiness, those last words may be less encouraging or less inspiring; and in those times, in takes only but a second for my heart to break as I watch her get on that bus. Thankfully, due to the age with live in, I can try to change the trajectory that has just been set by engaging in a text conversation with her. We can usually make things right again in just a few texts with a little bit of humbleness and forgiveness.

This brings me to my next learning.

In texting. The words we choose to type hold so much weight. When you text someone, there is not any voice inflection or body language to assist the words; the words are alone, and they can be read in many different ways. It is in these times that the words we choose must be thoughtful and intentional. In this media of communication, we must be careful to write clear and succinct; because every text is left hanging. We cannot read the other persons facial reactions, we are not even sure if the message has been read. I have had many talks with my daughter about the responsibility that comes along with texting. To utilize this tool of communication properly, you must be patient, straight forward, non-passive, and it must not replace a phone call or face to face conversations.

Because of the nature of this style of communication, I worldly strongly urge anyone to begin viewing texting as an opportunity to encourage the recipient instead of trying to make a case for ourselves. I do believe that in an existing healthy relationship where there is already an established groundwork of effective communication skills that texting can be used for deeper discussions that require a lot of back and forth.

From my experience as 1. Being someone who uses texts, 2. Experiencing people who don’t always utilize best practices when texting, and 3. Seeing the effects of passive aggressive or self-seeking texts; I believe that this is a topic that deserves an entire book. Being that this is only a blog, I would just encourage all of us to be extremely mindful and intentional of the words we choose, and realize that each text left hanging on that screen and could be the last words of that conversation.

In the workplace. I have many conversations throughout the day. Some are simple greetings and catching up on what the past days have brought us, yet most are focused on goals and tasks that need to be completed. In these conversations, it is important that the last words leave direction and gratefulness. No matter how many tangents we end up talking about, it is important to bring it back to the common goal. I feel the most confident and energized if at the end of the chat I am left with a clear expectation and an endearing statement of gratefulness. Clear goals and gratitude.

At the core of making beneficial decisions in life, it is essential that we put in the work to establish the core of who we are. It’s easy to lose our way from time to time on the path towards mindfulness and intentionality; Whether it’s stress, anxiety, fatigue, or just an off day. This will happen because being intentional and mindful takes hard work and commitment. Here are two learnings on intentionality before we wrap this up.

Meditation. I’m pretty sure if you are reading this, then you have read some of the same research or listened to some of the same Ted Talks that I have. We know what we need to do, but getting started is the hardest part. For example: we know that meditation is key to a more balanced mind and greater self-control, but the kick is that making yourself do a 5 – 10 minute meditation is harder to commit to than you’d think. There are immediate benefits once a meditation has ended, such as a sense of calm; but the sustaining benefits like self control, patience, and the like are achieved by the continual practice of meditation.

Exercise. Exercise is another arena of life that has immediate payoff mentally, as there is a surge of endorphins that we get from a workout. If we want to lose weight though, get stronger, run farther, look different; then we must stay committed to consistent exercise. Both of these are examples of ways to improve our state of mental well-being. Now, let’s see if there is a way to bring all of this back to the stars.

When it comes to starlight, did you know that the light we are seeing is from the past? Besides the sun, the closest start to us is Alpha Centauri; and the light from that star takes approximately four years to reach us. That means that the light of stars breaking through the blanket of midnight to reach us is an ancient light, and those stars will someday die; but the light will continue to reach us.

This speaks to the longer lasting impact of our actions, our words, our love, and our intentions. We are writing a story each day. The words we leave with others, and leave with ourselves, are setting the course of that story. As the light of the stars last long after they are gone, so our words will outlast us. Together, may we write stories that leave a lasting impact for goodness and inspiration.

Cover photo credit: Daniel Grayum (find him on instagram @dan_grayum)

The Road Less Traveled

It was a cool and cloudy morning as I strolled though downtown Flagstaff. It was about 40 degrees, the air smelled of rain, and the clouds were settling low in such a way that you could not see the Mountain. The traffic was minimal, and it was fairly silent; aside from the occasional train passing and the strange guy standing by the trash cans yelling.  I didn’t plan on taking this morning walk, but it formed out of mere happenstance; and it was good.

I didn’t realize it at first, but I had landed in a serendipitous moment. I had recently read an article by my friend Eric Hanson* about serendipity. Serendipity is kind of like stepping into the unknown and finding unplanned experiences or joy in that space. He shared stories of his own experiences, and challenged the readers to seek serendipitous experiences once in a while to experience the joy that it brings. What I discovered during my walk this morning is that it does not always take grand events to ignite joy.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.  – Robert Frost

The idea of adding some spontaneity to our lives is key to our personal growth. Before I go on, I would to like to give you some context of how I approach life. I am a planner. I wake up on Monday morning thinking about what I can accomplish on Saturday, I keep a detailed ever growing to-do list at work so I don’t drop the ball, I think of Spring Break plans in January, and I can tell you exactly where to find items in my closet. I tell you this to convey that I have a very strong belief in a structured foundation, and that there is great value to setting goals and staying organized.

I love this quote because it is inspires me. I also love this quote because trail running and hiking are an important part of my life, and there have been many times that something as simple as taking the rabbit trail instead of the main trail has brought me to unexpected and unplanned beauty. Not only have there been breathtaking views, but there has also been somewhat eerie places very deep in the woods where I can only assume that each sound I hear belongs to the other creatures who inhabit that area. The feeling of heading out that trail does something special inside.

Stepping into the unknown, no matter how small that step, ignites energy inside of us.

As I walked through downtown in the midst of the calmness and overcast weather, I became energized and inspired. Though my plans had fallen through, that time became sacred to me. I cannot think of a more simple and minimal step into the unknown than taking a walk, and in that simplicity, I have found a vastness of joy.

*Eric Hanson is an author, adventurer, film maker, and all around good guy. Check him out at Erichanson.tv

 

 

 

First Words

The first words we choose to speak in a day, give insight into the state of our hearts and minds.

I was watching the sun rise through the window of our living room this weekend, and it was as if something had lit the sky ablaze. The sky changed from soft gray to a blazing orange surrounded by purple, and I felt blessed and encouraged once again as I do with each sunrise. A sunrise greets the day with hope, the promise to rise again holds true each day. As I sat in the orange glow, it occurred to me that how we choose to greet each day can have an immense impact on those around us as well how we choose to view the day ahead.

Most of my days starts with silence, as I am usually the first one awake. In this silence I get a chance to choose my state of mind. Will I greet the day with a grateful heart, or will I choose a less positive path? In these times of silence, we are formulating the trajectory for our day, and choosing the lens through which we will see the day ahead. Entitlement or humility? Compassion or hate? The line that separates these dichotomies can be very thin at times depending on our filter for the day.

I want to be as committed and steadfast as the sun. It does not matter if the skies are clear or cloudy; the sun will arrive and shed light to the best of it’s ability.

When my oldest daughter wakes, she is usually greeted with kindness and calmness. We have a mellow morning before she is off to school and I am off to work; and the days with each other start pleasant. As we part ways I feel peace, because I see and feel the reciprocation of that positive attitude that I put forth. But there have been times when I had chosen to see the day through a lens of self centeredness or grumpiness, and in those times I could see and feel the reciprocation of what I put forth; and as we had parted ways, I felt restlessness rather than peace.

As the day goes on, I will continue to have first encounters with people; I have a choice as to what my first words to each person will be. Will I choose to encourage and inquire on their well-being, or will I choose to say something unimportant and somewhat negative like? There is not a need for the first words to be deep wells of wisdom or philosophy, they can be as simple as good day or how are you doing today? There is weight to those first words, because they can set the stage for the direction of our attitude; and they can set a trajectory for someone else’s day. If we put forth negativity, we will likely receive negativity; and we negate our responsibility to this life to be a source of light and hope.

As with most areas of life in which we want to succeed, there needs to be a goal or mission that you are working towards that guides our decisions. Whether we simply choose a few words (compassion, hope, inspiration, etc.), or have a declaration that states our intentions; there needs to be something in place if we wish to be intentional about our impact. I would like to end this article with some words from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. regarding this idea of a blueprint for life.

Now each of you is in the process of building the structure of your lives, and the question is whether you have a proper, a solid and a sound blueprint.

I want to suggest some of the things that should begin your life’s blueprint. Number one in your life’s blueprint, should be a deep belief in your own dignity, your worth and your own somebodiness. Don’t allow anybody to make you fell that you’re nobody. Always feel that you count. Always feel that you have worth, and always feel that your life has ultimate significance.

Secondly, in your life’s blueprint you must have as the basic principle the determination to achieve excellence in your various fields of endeavor. You’re going to be deciding as the days, as the years unfold what you will do in life — what your life’s work will be. Set out to do it well.

“And finally, and finally, in your life’s blueprint, must be a commitment to the eternal principles of beauty, love, and justice….However young you are, you have a responsibility to seek to make your nation a better nation in which to live. You have a responsibility to seek to make life better for everybody. And so you must be involved in the struggle of freedom and justice.”

This is an example of intentional living. Value yourself, work hard, and be committed to beauty, love, and justice. What will our blueprint be? What words will guide our days? What story are we choosing to write? Be as committed and steadfast as the sun, and rise to greet each day, as well as the people in it, with an intentionality to make the day a little brighter.

Books

Books have power.

When you enter into a book, you are beginning a journey. Perhaps this journey will take you to far away lands where tales of honor, valor, and treachery reign. You may find yourself standing in the shoes of a hero, a villain, or the oppressed; feeling what they feel, and almost seeing what they can see.

Some books take you on a journey of the mind. Topics of science, faith, history, parenting, writing, economy, biographies, diet, you name it; we can feed our minds with knowledge. It is knowledge that you have to work for, as you have to be committed and intentional about taking this journey. 

Other books may take you on a journey of the soul, the deeper layers of what this life is about. The words may jump off of the page and into your heart, creating inspiration or longing for something you cannot describe at times. Meaning, purpose, hope, and love are weaved throughout the pages, making their way into our very thread of our being; aspects of our character are molded as we read of perseverance, compassion, and empathy. These are the kinds of books that I have connected with most in my life, and most in the last couple of years.

I have not always been a reader. I actually had read very few books before I got into my thirties. My world was opened though as I finally began to put in the work to get through a book and apply myself to understand the themes. In all honesty, it was very hard as it would take me a long time to get through a book, and I had to reframe my mindset to embrace the time spent reading as an investment into not only my personal life, but the lives connected to me.

I would like to share some the books that have impacted my life in the last couple of years, with a brief overview of the theme. 

Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl

  • The title says it all. Dr. Frankl’s logotherapy guides the narrative of this book. The first half of the book is his experience being taken into, enduring, and coming out of the Nazi concentration camps. He shares stories of how men stripped of their humanity, managed to endure each day with the hope that they would some day be free. The second half of the book takes a deeper look at logotherapy.

Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen

  • This book is summed up in the journey of moving from Loneliness, Hostility, and Illusion to Solitude, Hospitality, and Prayer. One of the most impactful books I have read.

The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson

  • This is a series that currently has three books; The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance, and Oathbringer. These are long epic books. The first book sets the stage and takes you through the back story of each of the main characters. This is a great story because it takes you through themes of courage, perseverance, anger, dealing with revenge, bravery, faith, family, and loyalty. These are very long books, but great reads if you enjoy the fantasy realm of writing. 

The Old Man and the Sea by Earnest Hemingway

  • A short story that is just a good read. This book makes you want to be a little tougher, as it is a story of a fisherman. It also contains the theme of endurance and commitment. Bonus, you can say you’ve read Hemingway.

The Emigrant Edge by Brian Buffini

  • Buffini is a motivational speaker/real estate trainer. He is an Irishman who has no shortage of passion, motivation, dedication, drive, and love. This books takes you through his journey as an Emigrant (one who leaves their country to permanently live in another). He challenges us to have a strong work ethic as well as recognize the abundance of opportunity we have in this life, and specifically, America. He writes very accessibly, he is funny, and does not pull punches as he challenges us to live and love fiercely.

Soul Cravings by Erwin Mcmannus

  • I have read this book a few times since it was released in 2006. Erwin jumps off the page and into the chair across from you as he engages the reader in a conversation about faith, love, creativity, and hope. This book also has one of the coolest book covers. 

How To Be Here by Rob Bell

  • Mindfulness, contentment, kindness to self, and finding your passion are all themes covered in this book. Rob is one of the best writers of personal development, faith, and Christianity that I have read. No mater how deep he takes you, he writes in laymen’s terms, so that anyone can engage. He also has many other books I would recommend, but this is the most recent that I had read.

This is not a complete list, but these have impacted me in a positive way. I would recommend all of these to any one (exception The Stormlight Archive, due to it’s fantasy style and length of books). Books are a gift, and there is much to be gained by sitting down and working your mind through the words on the pages. We are writing our story every day, so take some time to read a story; and in doing so, you add to your own. 

 

Forward Motion, Empathy, and Impact

If we can learn to see what we accomplish in the midst of a struggle, we can find the strength and confidence to keep moving.

We find ourselves, at times, in situations that are less than ideal; be it a momentary discomfort of completing undesirable tasks, or a stage of life that is constantly calling you to a sense of duty or obligation. Likewise, we will also be taken into dire situations outside of our choosing; with the only choice being how to proceed.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”   J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

I love this excerpt, because every one of us has been here. Not literally journeying to Mordor to destroy the ring of power because the fate of the world is in our hands; but potentially left standing in disarray because life has taken a turn for the worst. We have sat across the table from friends and family struggling with death, addiction, divorce, abuse, and the list goes on; and the conversation turns to “I wish it need not happen in my lifetime”; yet here we are. We can not always change our environment, or the stage of life that we are in; but we can choose how we will move forward.

We can choose what impact we will leave in this life.

Great stories are wrought with adversity. Great stories take you through the struggles. Heroes do not arise out of a state of Utopia, they rise from necessity. We can only run away from purpose for so long. The choice between apathy and empathy is always before us, and each path shapes our heart. If I am being honest, empathy is an attribute that I need to build upon in my life. I have a tendency to avoid discomfort or the pain that comes with empathy; therefore, I lean towards apathy at times. Though, I would still say that I am more so an empathetic person than an apathetic person; at least, that is the hope.

The word apathy in itself is harsh, or it hits you in a certain way when you hear it or read it. If we label someone as apathetic, there are negative connotations that come along with it. There is danger in labeling someone, or ourselves, because labels come with a lot of extra baggage. For example, apathy comes with the following baggage: callous, cold, and emotionless. Who would associate with those words? Also, we are in danger of possibly becoming or remaining apathetic if we choose to only identify the term in those words.

I choose to break down this idea of apathy into words, because I believe that in the words we find understanding, and in the words we can begin to see a path. Another word that I believe better describes the true nature of what we are up against with apathy is the word passive. All of us can say that we have been passive at times, and associating apathy in terms of passiveness creates a smaller focused picture of what to work on. Passivity puts our choices into the hands of others. Passivity in times of struggle   can be dangerous because we are left to the flow of the situation instead of choosing to steer that ship ourselves.

To choose what impact we will have in this life, we have to do just that…choose. To find victory in struggle, we need perspective; we need to be able to take that snapshot of our situation and place it against the bigger picture.  

If we choose to care, if we are able to see our impact on others through our tough times or momentary troubles, and if we can choose to be intentional rather than passive; then perhaps we can find victory in the struggle. This shift towards forward motion may begin with something as seemingly minute as changing our mindset or perspective. We are actually meant to grow, develop, and live a life of impact; and empathy may be the key to endure. Choosing compassion, or choosing to put ourselves into someone else’s shoes, may give us the perspective we need to find victories in the midst of struggles.

The Movement of Meaning

There is a movement taking place.

It is growing each day, yet it has always been a part of who we are. It is a part of our human story. Each day we wake into the question of “who am I to be?“; and each day we make a choice. Longing for insight, and looking for inspiration; we breathe purpose.

Is there a greater ideal to set our minds on than our meaning in life?

The question of our meaning leads to a lifelong answer because we discover it with each new day. It’s a common theme, and it is a timeless theme. It is at the core of philosophy, and begs our attention. In some of my favorite stories, the protagonist has to decide who they are going to be, and whether or not they will rise up to their calling. Luke Skywalker, Frodo Baggins, Neo, or Peter Parker;  each character had to decide whether or not they would take up the tasks laid before them. Likewise, some of our greatest tragedies and greatest villains, both in reality and fiction, have come from a purpose twisted or misunderstood.

When it seems as though there is no meaning to a life, despair takes the throne; and in that reign there is little hope to carry on. Yet a glimpse of hope, a glimpse of our purpose, can provide room to breathe again and carry on. Sometimes it takes only a spark of an idea in our mind, or a fluttering inside of our heart to wake us from our slumber, and open us up to the possibility of a big life.

“To be awake is to be alive…We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep.” – Henry David Thoreau from Walden

It is our duty to pursue purpose, not only to become alive for our own good; but to become alive and become a beacon for others.

Inspiration.

If we accomplish nothing else, may we at least find ways to inspire. Inspiration will find it’s way into our lives through books, blogs, movies, speeches, plays, songs, interviews, and so on; we must look for it, listen for it, and relay it to those around us because it is our duty to inspire. It is the movement of our time. The positive thinking/self development movement is nothing new, but is booming right now; and I believe it is because the world is rapidly changing, and opportunity is abounding. Those who have found peace or success can now reach millions with their story with an ease that did not exist before. Those who have found healing can lead others down the path of healing through sharing their own journey.

If we are willing to put in the work, if we are willing to read and listen, we can find inspiration all around; and in doing so may we catch a glimpse of our purpose in this life.

 

Lessons from the stars: Comfort and the Necessary

Last night was a good night for stargazing.

Piercing through the ebony background, the stars seemed to appear before my eyes. I just stood there for a while soaking in the grandness of it all, wondering how many people I was sharing that piece of sky with? How many people were at that moment looking up at those stars, and what was going through our minds?

The beauty of stargazing, is that it opens up your world. Stars broaden our perspective, expand our worldview, and open our hearts. I have looked up at the stars in sorrow, I have looked up at the stars in joy; and they will always speak to me. It’s not an audible voice, but a subtle whispering in my soul; something stirs inside me, and I receive insight.

Last night, the stars reminded me that there is a big world out there. I was reminded to stay connected to the world around me. I naturally move towards what is comfortable in life, which is natural for all of us, but I also want to be aware of the necessary.

The necessary is the part of life that requires something from us.

This will intersect with the comfortable parts of life, meaning that what is required is that which we already enjoy. This varies from person to person, but I would describe this as when the need falls in line with our passion and strengths. This may also be comfortable if the person in need is someone you already love dearly, and this love may be the key to unlocking a world of purpose.

The necessary will at times require sacrifice. Not an Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom kind of sacrifice, but that which requires us to dig deep inside and summon courage, forgiveness, and the love. It takes courage to confront someone who has wronged you, and forgiveness must follow. It may require you to give money to a cause at the expense of not buying something for yourself. We may need to ask forgiveness from someone we have hurt, and in turn learn to forgive ourselves.

The necessary may also be something that you need to do for yourself. You may find inspiration to create something, from a painting to a charity. You may find direction in life, or change in the direction of your life. You may be reminded that you are loved.

The necessary requires love, because if can learn to love on a broader scale; we will become more comfortable with the uncomfortable. In love, we are eager to serve, help, and rescue. In love, we can be freed from regret and as stated above, find the key for unlocking our purpose.

The stars speak, if we are willing to listen.

 

Solitude

Loneliness.

This is a powerful word, because out sparks such strong emotional reaction; and I believe that it is something that all of us can relate to at some point in our lives. If being alone becomes translated as loneliness, then sadness and desperation will begin to take root. Desperation mode is survival mode, and we will find ourselves  reacting to our circumstances instead of creating our circumstances.

Time.

Time gives and takes, it builds and breaks down, and it can be a gift if we choose to see it as so.

I start with these words, loneliness and time, because they are in relation to each other. We all have the same amount of hours in a day, though not the same amount of hours in a life; and we all want to make the most of our life. The feeling of loneliness can cause us to enter a place of circular thinking, which in my case, leads to feeling of self-doubt and regret. This is a downward spiral that I have found can rip the hours and the days, which are a gift, away from us.

Now even the darkest of nights lead to a new dawn, and time is reflected best in the form of a new day; though one day may feel lost, a new day is given.

The best book I’ve read this year is Reaching Out  by Henri Nouwen.

The theme of this book is rooted in a transformation from loneliness to solitude, and that is what we will focus on. Just as time is a gift, our being alone is truly a gift, because it is in those moments that we can dig deep to discover who we truly are and what passions lie inside of us. A simple word swap can change everything, so we translate loneliness  to solitude.

The best thing I can recommend is to go out and get this book, but for the purpose of our time right now; I will share some highlights to inspire you to join me on the path of finding solitude in what has been described as loneliness, starting with probably my favorite excerpt from the book:

“When loneliness is haunting me  with it’s possibility of being a threshold instead of a dead end, a new creation instead of a grave, a meeting place instead of an abyss, then time loses it’s desperate clutch on me. Then I no longer have to live in a frenzy of activity, overwhelmed and afraid for the missed opportunity.”

“The more we come to the painful confession of our loneliness, hostilities, and illusions, the more we are able to see solitude, hospitality, and prayer as part of the vision of our life.”

“Does not all creativity ask for a certain encounter with our loneliness, and does not the fear of this encounter severely limit our possible self expression?”

“Friendship and love cannot develop in the form of  an anxious clinging to each other. They ask for gentle fearless space in which we can move to and from each other.”

“Instead of running away from our loneliness and trying to forget or deny it, we have to protect it and turn it into a fruitful solitude.”

“Then our life would indeed be a different life because then fate becomes opportunity, wounds a warning and paralysis an invitation to search for deeper sources of vitality. Then we can look for hope in the middle of crying cities, burning hospitals, and desperate parents and children. Then we can cast off the temptation of despair and speak about the fertile tree while witnessing the dying of the seed. Then indeed we can break out of the prison of an anonymous series of events and listen to the God of history who speaks to us in the center our solitude and respond to his ever new call for conversion.”

I hope these words have brought hope and healing, if not for you, then for someone close to you. Let us make the most of the time we have been given, this beautiful gift that lies in each day; and may the moments that we find ourselves feeling alone be transformed into moments of solitude.

 

Transitions, Courage, and Insight

Life is an array of transitions.

Starting from the moment we are brought into this world; we find ourselves in the momentum of life. We grow, learn, and develop. Whether we choose it or not, we are moving. Yet, we do choose what we do with the time that is given to us.

gandalf.gif (nerd alert)

When facing decision points in life, do you have a tendency towards fearful thinking or courageous thinking?

I was watching the Disney musical Newsies with my daughters the other day, and there was a line that struck me while they were deciding whether or not to go on strike against the newspaper company. David says to the other newsies:

“Courage cannot erase our fear, courage is when we face our fear.” – Newsies Broadway musical

Courage. It is found in adversity and challenge, it is uncovered only when fear enters the situation. It is in these moments that we need to state our fears clearly, and in doing so, we will find where the fear is rooted. Once we understand the root of our fear, the path to overcoming it becomes clear.

I was having a conversation the other day about my fear of change, and I was challenged to look back at my past for times that I had to rise up in the face of my fear. I began to think:  My family move from Lakewood California to Flagstaff Arizona, my first piano recital, the first time I played guitar on stage, The first time I sang on stage, Every job that I applied for, every talk I’ve given to a group, proposing to my wife, having a daughter, having another daughter! The list went on and on, and I began to feel confident in my ability to adapt and maintain a forward momentum in life.

What insights can be taken from our past?

Ask yourself this question; and find confidence, wisdom, and empowerment. We may not have always responded the right way to change, or even made the right changes; but we always…ALWAYS… have a choice. Our tomorrow is happening today, so enter each day with confidence and courage.

There is a fragility to all of us, but there is also great resilience. Where there is fear, courage lies also. May you find insight from your past, and today may you find courage to face the future.

 

Obligation to Opportunity

I had to take a moment to step outside and take a few breaths tonight. Something about the dark sky and bright stars brings me calm, and I needed to be calmed ; though I could not quite figure out why. There has been a lot going on the past few days, but it was good; and if I desire good in my life, then I need to figure how to transition from overwhelmed to energized.

Contentment and resentment can both spring from the same circumstance depending on our mindset, and the words we use describe our current state.

I have used the “stressed” to describe how I feel lately, yet the choice to define my situation as stressful may be the very reason that I feel stressed. The words we use to describe our life hold a level of power in how we respond to and view our situation. By choosing to name my current state as “stressed”, I have now limited my possibilities because I will not want to put any thing else on my plate.

A stressed state is a survival state, a survival state is a reactionary state, and living in a  reactionary state reduces our ability to be intentional about our actions and circumstances.

I am trying to replace the word “stressed” when describing busy times to “full”, after all, who doesn’t want a full life? The subtle change from Stressed to Full changes how I view a busy life. “Stress” adds a negative connotation to our circumstances, can even turn fun times into obligations. “Full”, on the other hand, relates to a life abounding with opportunity.

In summary, transitioning from a “stressed” life to a “full” life; creates opportunities out of obligations. Likewise, embracing a full life will open our eyes to the unending opportunities we have to connect with humanity; as well as encounter our own selves on a deep level.

I was hit with this realization the other day. I had been able to spend a lot of time with one of my daughters (who is a little ball of conversation) over a few day stretch, waking up together to watch the World Cup, hiking together, playing together, hammocking together, etc. I found myself talking with my wife about how The non stop energy from this little girl was starting to get to me. After I spoke those words, I was hit hard on a very deep level, and I had a realization. That complaint was spoke out of selfishness, and a “stressed” mindset. It was at that moment that I realized how lucky I am to have a little human in this life that actually wants to spend all day with me!

This was an amazing opportunity.

Therefore, I will embrace opportunity over obligation. I will seek a full life.

In the Bible, Jesus says ” I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full.” These words have always inspired me, as they remind me that we each have a purpose in this world. We all are surrounded with opportunity that we need to reach out and grab.

Join me in shifting our mindsets from obligation to opportunity; or, if you are already embracing this mindset, continue to pursue your life of impact.